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Click the audio below to listen to the warm reading of the anchor bell · Anchor | bell source | Light energy (ID: qingclass666) 01 recently, the epidemic in Nanjing was more severe than expected.
As of the 29th, 184 local confirmed cases have been reported in Nanjing, and the transmission chain has been associated with 13 cities in 6 provinces.
Every day, we can see the flow survey information of various confirmed cases released by the health commission.
One of them, a 45 year old airport cleaning mother, amazed me after the exposure of the flow adjustment track.
She lives in Lukou street and works as a cabin cleaner at Nanjing Lukou Airport.
In the 11 days from July 10 to 20, the 45 year old mother had only one thing left in her daily life except staying up late to work: Pick up my son to the training class.
Image source: Internet Even if I got off work at 11 o’clock the night before, I still got up early the next day and sent my son out at 7:50 on time.
Even stayed up the night before and got off work at 4 a.m.
and 1:20 p.m.
that day ， She then sent her son to two training classes.
There are 17 transfers in 11 days, from discipline to sports to art, day after day.
The only time that belongs to her these days is “go to the surrounding square from 18:30 to 19:00 on July 17”.
In the matter of picking up and seeing off the children, there was no father at all.
The flow of this mother reminds me of the 26 year old couple diagnosed in Shijiazhuang last year.
In the 20 days before the diagnosis, the woman did not go out because the community was closed.
In the rest of the time, she was busy with her daily life.
Twice I took my son out to see a doctor alone, went shopping in the pregnancy and baby hall, bought vegetables, fruit, stationery, repaired my mobile phone and mung bean cake Her life is very frugal.
She usually has steamed bread and steamed stuffed buns for lunch and dinner.
And her husband? Live a “two points and one line” life, either online cafe or home.
I can’t see that it is the backbone of a family.
The father of a child should look like.
He relies on his wife to support the family.
A 45 year old mother in Nanjing and a 26 year old wife in Shijiazhuang, no one would notice what they do every day if it were not for the cause of the epidemic.
In fact, they are just the epitome of many wives.
What they are experiencing is widowed marriage! 02 in the park, most of those who play with children are women; In hospitals, most of those who take their children to register for medical treatment are women; In the supermarket, it is women who choose daily necessities; Women always pay the most in the family, but they are laborious but thankless.
Many men in the family do not have a trace of gratitude for their wives’ efforts, let alone guilt.
They think this is a very common family model.
Even, they feel wronged.
Taking care of children full-time at home is much easier than working; Washing and cooking at home is much simpler than socializing outside; They only spend money without making money.
They take advantage of it Before what was going on, there was a video on the tiktok, a woman help group called lily, and her husband did nothing for eight years.
I sleep late every day.
When I wake up, I lie in bed and play with my mobile phone.
He doesn’t have a job, doesn’t do housework, and his children have nothing to do with him.
In order to make the family run, his wife opened a small restaurant.
She not only takes care of the business in the store every day, but also goes home to do housework and take care of the children.
In the face of the camera, her wife vented all her grievances.
But the husband thought his wife was hypocritical and said, “she’s idle all day.
How tired can she be selling rice at noon?” Image source: Internet After watching this video, Jun was really angry and wanted to rush into the screen to scold and wake up the man.
As a man, he has no responsibility for being a husband and father.
He takes his wife’s eight years as an ox and a horse for granted.
What is the meaning of his existence in this family? Doesn’t he have any pity and shame? I believe that such men are definitely not in the minority.
It may not be as extreme as him, but he may also put all the heavy responsibilities that should be borne by the two in the marriage on his wife.
However, common is not normal.
On the contrary, it is actually very abnormal.
Over time, women are prone to depression.
But paradoxically, this kind of marriage is often very likely to survive, It can even be said to be firm.
03 why? I have to admit that there are three reasons.
First, men can still create a certain marriage value.
Men may not provide housework value, but some people can provide money value to make up for it.
Some men are not at home, but they perform well when they come back.
They can provide emotional value.
Some men help you when you need to repair electrical appliances and do hard work.
This is the practical value.
As a woman, you may feel that your husband may be absent when you need it, but in fact, he still provides a certain value.
This is not a complete widowed marriage, but it is not perfect.
The two families in the above flow survey do not rule out this possibility.
We do not know how their husband and wife get along.
There may be this reason because the marriage is still in existence.
Second, women lack the ability and courage to be independent.
For some women, divorce is not bad for them who have no financial source.
If such women are advised to divorce, they actually do not have the confidence to ensure their own and their children’s future life.
Carnegie said in the book “the pattern of women determines the outcome”: “ Independent women, with their own ability to create happiness, do not need to please and rely on anyone.
Marriage is just icing on the cake for them.
” For women who cannot be independent in personality and economy, even if marriage is bad, it is necessary to exist, which is actually the most sad.
Third, divorce is a trouble.
In today’s fast-paced society, women have a lot to do, not only to work to make money, but also to take their children to do housework, but also to set aside time for further study.
Life is so saturated that women also want to subtract from their world and don’t want to make too big changes in life.
Therefore, some people gradually get used to widowed marriage.
As long as there are no principled problems between husband and wife, they will live like this all their life.
This is a very realistic reason.
Under these factors, women often make complaints about it, then continue to plunge into this widowed marriage.
04 in the face of widowed marriage, I have no intention of divorce, but I am not happy, So how can we stop fighting alone and bring our husband over to become an ally in the marriage? In fact, it is very simple: open your eyes before marriage and be cruel after marriage.
In fact, opening your eyes before marriage is to ask a woman to investigate her partner well and not burn herself.
The first thing is to see if he really respects you.
If you always want to take advantage of you when you are in love, it is always male chauvinism.
Such a person can never make deep friends.
The man who really loves and respects you will ask for your opinions in every link of communication, communicate with you and actively solve problems.
If you can’t do this, it will get worse after marriage.
The second thing is to look at his family relationship.
In love, the last point may be easier to disguise, but he can’t pretend it.
You need to see how his parents get along and whether it’s also a widowed marriage..